


Love of a Father

by life_is_righteous



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 18:30:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17027817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/life_is_righteous/pseuds/life_is_righteous
Summary: You are the oldest child and yet your father treats you as if you are not even his.





	1. Chapter 1

“Gwathel!” You hear and you look below you to find your little brother, Legolas.

You were currently in the trees, scouting for more spiders. They seemed to be coming more and more as of late and you were sure that they will reach the city soon. You did not know how to stop them.

“ _What is it little leaf?”_  You ask, hopping down from your perch to join him.

“ _Father has requested your presence_ ,” he tells you and you stiffen.

It was no secret that Thranduil was not fond of you. Four children he had and you, the eldest, were treated like you were not his child. As if you were forced into the family by adoption. You sometimes entertained the idea that you were adopted. Your three brothers had blonde hair while you yourself had brown, almost red hair and your ears were pointer than theirs. The only reason you were not accepting the idea of being adopted was because of your blue eyes that resembled your father and brothers and your mother, the queen.

She looked exactly like you. Well, you looked exactly like her with your longer ears and brown hair. You missed her greatly. It seems that since her passing, everything had been different. Your father grew colder and locked himself away. It just hasn’t been the same.

 _“Did he say what he wanted?”_ You ask as you make your way back home.

 _“He did not say. Only that it was very important,”_  he explains and you nod.

You both continue on your way and you try not to falter in your steps as you hear the branches creaking above you. Once you hear the telltale signs of someone jumping off a branch, you stop and pull Legolas back, giggling as your brother falls to the ground, groaning.

 _“Not as fun when you don’t have someone to tackle, is it?”_  You ask.

 _“Distraction,”_ he groans out before you and Legolas are knocked over into a heap of limbs.

 _“Caraniûl!”_  You groan, trying to get the wind back that was knocked out of you.

 _“You’re not the one under three other elves,”_  Elumenel grumbles And you all stand slowly.

 _“Must you two always attack us?”_  Legolas asks, helping Elumenel stand.

 _“Yes?”_  Both of your brothers respond, dusting themselves off,  _“you two are so grumpy all the time. You need to smile more or you’ll become like father.”_

You laugh at your little brothers. No matter how bad your day is going, they always knew how to cheer you up.

 _“Did you hear?”_  Caraniûl asks as they join you on your trek back,  _“dwarves have entered the forest.”_

That makes you frown. Dwarves have not entered this forest since Smaug’s attack. No one has.

“ _And where have you heard this little one?”_

 _“A few that were scouting earlier. They claimed they were attacked by dwarves!”_  He exclaims as you walk through the gates.

 _“They might have simply been hungry. It is easy to get lost in the forest these days and who knows how long they’ve been without food,”_  you say as you make your way to the throne room.

When you get to the throne room, Thranduil is pacing. Definitely a sight to see. He turns his attention towards you and you all nod slightly.

“Ada,” is your three brothers greetings while “King Thranduil” is yours. He frowns slightly, but it disappears quickly.

 _“As you might have heard, there are dwarves roaming around in the forest. Thrice they have attacked our people. I want them captured and brought here,”_ He states and you all nod before turning to leave.

_“Not you, y/n.”_

Your brothers turn to look at you as you wince.

 _“Go little ones. Go and grab my weapons, I shall meet you at the front gates,”_ you tell them and they look behind you then back at you before nodding slightly, mind made up.

They knew of the unfair treatment you were given and they loathed it but you had advised them against speaking up. You did not want them to have the same fate as you.

You watch them leave before turning to your father.

_“You have failed again to clean the nests like I asked.”_

_“I did my lord but-.”_

_“Do not give me excuses! Had your brothers been the ones to get rid of the nest, there would be no more spiders. I fail to see how you are my child when you cannot do anything right,”_  he says and you stiffen, giving a short nod.

 _“Forgive me my lord,”_  you say.

_“Leave.”_

You give a short bow and turn to join your brothers.

When you reach the front gates your brothers are waiting for you with worried expressions. You give them reassuring smiles.

_“Do not fret little ones for they are words that I have heard before.”_

_“But if father-.”_

_“Father is only trying to do what is right for our kingdom,”_  you tell them, giving them a look to make them cease their comments.

It has been a long time since your father’s words actually hurt and you no longer had it in you to cry about it. You were a Princess of Mirkwood and princesses don’t cry.

_“Come, little ones. Let us leave.”_

-

When you find the dwarves, it seems they have just escaped from the spiders you were just asked to kill. Your father wasn’t going to be happy with you.

You see the guards pulling their arrows and you look around to count all the elves present.

“Don’t think I won’t kill you dwarf. It would be my pleasure,” Legolas says as you realize that Caraniûl is Missing.

You place your hand on Legolas’ bow and lower it, looking at him frantically.

“Brother, Caraniûl is Missing,” you say before you both hear fighting

You turn to the source and run to find it. Caraniûl is currently on the ground, trying to back away from an advancing spider and the fear on his face breaks your heart. You pull your bow, killing it before it has a chance to hurt your little brother. He looks at you and stands.

 _“Thank you Gwathel,”_  he says as you make your way back to the dwarves.

“ _Do not scare me so,_ ” you say, giving him a squeeze on his arm before looking at the company before you.

Tauriel is just making her way back with a beardless dwarf and she looks at you and you raise your brow.

“ _He was unarmed, my lady_ ,” she says and you nod as Legolas pulls a sword on a dwarf who looks like their leader.

“There is no need for that here, Legolas,” you say, lowering his sword again.

“ _But they stole this from our kin,_ ” he says and you finally look at the dwarves in front of you.

The leader was familiar to you now.

“King Thorin,” you say nodding your head in a bow and he looks at you confused for a second.

“The Royal Line of Durin is not unfamiliar to the elves of Mirkwood,” you start, before looking at your brother, “at least the older ones.”

You take the sword from his hand.

“Orcrist. This sword has been lost for centuries how you came upon it is beyond me,” you say, looking at the sword before sheathing it.

The elves are looking at you, waiting for orders. Legolas May be the heir to the throne, but every elf followed your orders more than they did his.

 _“Let us go,”_  you announce turning to lead the elves back.

You pause as you hear a dwarf mutter, “Thorin where’s Bilbo?”

Did he really think no one could hear him?

You turn to look at the dwarves and the one with the hat stops and looks at you, afraid and so does Thorin. You narrow your eyes at them before continuing your walk with your brothers.

 _“What is it?”_  Legolas asks.

_“Did you not hear them?”_

_“Did they insult you?”_  Elumenel asks turning to glare at the dwarves.

You shake your head.

 _“They did nothing of the sort,”_  you say, deciding to keep the information of a missing member to yourself.

-

 _“You have failed yet again! Did I not ask to get rid of the spiders?”_  Thranduil asks angrily.

_“I did my lord but-.”_

_“All you give me are excuses! You cannot do anything right. You are the eldest and should be the wisest and yet it seems that you are the exact opposite! How your mother loved you is beyond me. Leave us and do not come back,”_ Thranduil states.

That makes your heart clench. He never brought your mother into it and now that he did, it hurt even more than usual.

“ _Are you banishing me?”_ You ask, standing straighter.

 _“I am and it would do you well to heed to my orders,”_  he says and you nod, turning to leave.

_“Father you can’t-!”_

_“Caraniûl!”_  You snap and he looks at you afraid.

_“Leave it. I will do what the king commands and you three will not follow me.”_

_“But-.”_

_“You WILL NOT follow me,”_  you repeat looking at your three brothers and they nod and you accept their answers before leaving the throne room.

As you walk to your chambers, you bump into something. Except there is nothing in front of you. You quickly reach out and your hand grasps cloth that feels like a coat.

“Show yourself Mr. Bilbo,” you whisper, grasping whatever you had in your hand and pulling it into an empty room.

You light the room as this Bilbo person reveals himself.

“A halfling?” You ask surprised.

What was a hobbit doing in these parts? With dwarves?

“I’m not half of anything thank you very much,” he huffs.

“I’m sorry Mr. Bilbo. I’m just in shock that a hobbit is so far away from home,” you tell him honestly.

“Well what are you going to do with me then? Throw me in with the others? And how did you know my name?” He asks.

You roll your eyes.

“The hatted one seemed to forget that we elves have excellent hearing. He asked King Thorin where you were. I doubt the others heard him and no I’m not going to lock you up. I’m going to help you.”


	2. Chapter 2

“I do not think your choice was wise,” Legolas states, too stunned at the fact that his father just banished y/n, his own flesh and blood.

“What do you know about wise choices? You follow your sister blindly. She will one day lead you into peril and you will not see it until it is too late,” Thranduil replies, making his way up to his throne.

“Why is it that you hate her so much?” Elumenel asks.

They never understood why he treated her so differently. They never experienced any harshness from him unless they were with y/n and it was never ever directed at them.

“Do not ask such silly questions. Rid your mind of her for you shall never see her again,” Thranduil states, waving his hand to dismiss them but Caraniûl stands his ground.

“Its because she reminds you of mother isn’t it?” he asks and by the way Thranduil stiffens, they know he got it right on the spot.

“Everytime you look at her, she reminds you of her. The way she talks, the way she walks, the way she never listens to you and is always doing what she feels is right. That’s how mother was and-.”

“Do not speak to me of your mother,” Thranduil snaps and Caraniûl shuts his mouth, but Elumenel opens his.

“You say she leads us into to peril, but it is you the one who is leading her into peril. The more you push her away, the more she will want to leave and never come back and if she dies, what then father? She is the only one that looks like mother and if she dies, mother will be nothing but a memory and not only will you have lost your wife, you will have lost the daughter that tried so hard to love you only to get nothing, but pain in return,” Elumenel states before leaving with Legolas and Caraniûl to let their father think about things.

-

After realising the dwarves from their cells, you lead them to the cellar. You know a shipment was supposed to be sent out soon and you know that the elves on duty loved the wine so that was the only possible escape.

“How do you know we can trust you?” Thorin asks.

“I have nothing to lose anymore,” you tell him but you know you’re lying. You have three things that meant something to you that you could lose.

“Get into the barrels quickly. Tauriel is on duty tonight and she will be making her rounds soon,” you say and the dwarves and Bilbo get inside.

“Are you all settled?” You ask and they grunt in return.

You pull the lever, releasing the dwarves and as soon as the last barrel is out you turn back towards the stairs. Halfway up, you hear Tauriel shouting, “where is the keeper of the keys?”

As you reach the top, you see Tauriel and she looks surprised.

“My lady. What are you doing down there?”

“I have wondered why the party had stopped getting wine. It seems that the elves on duty had gotten drunk and are currently sleeping,” you tell her and her eyes widen before she rushes past you with the other guards following behind.

You quickly make your way to your room to gather your things and orcrist, something you thought should be returned to the Thorin. If Thranduil had found out what you had done, you would lose your head that much was certain

You make your way to the gate by the river and start following the barrels down, halfway there, a horn is being blown and you know that they’ve been found out.

You see the gates closing up ahead and suddenly the elf there falls to the ground, eyes no longer seeing.

Arrow after arrow you pull but the orcs just keep on coming. You watch as a dwarf climbs out of his barrel and you see a large orc aiming his bow at him. You pull your own and shoot the arrow headed for the dwarf. The orc turns to with a snarl on his face and pulls yet another arrow, but more elves come and he is distracted once again. You follow the dwarves down the river, killing any orcs that try to kill them.

-

When you catch up to the dwarves, they look absolutely exhausted. You would be too if you were trashed around like that.

“Have you all made it out safely?” you ask counting the dwarves.

“We’ll survive,” Thorin says, watching you cautiously.

You look at him, finally remembering that you had orcrist with you and you reach behind you to give the sword back.

“Why are you returning this to me? It is your kins,” he questions.

“We have no use for this sword. Like I said, it has been lost for centuries meaning that you have found it. It is yours to keep,” you say and he nods as you hear footsteps running towards you. They were hardly noticeable meaning one thing.

You turn to glare at your little brothers. Legolas was not with them meaning that they somehow snuck away.

“I have told the both of you to stay away,” you snap.

“What father doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Elumenel says and you can’t help but laugh at the two of them.

You hear a bow being pulled and the three of you pull yours only to find Bard. All four of you relax.

“Princess y/n, prince Elumenel, Prince Caraniûl. I did not expect to find you down here with the barrels,” he states before looking around, “or dwarves.”

“We felt that we need to get out more,” Caraniûl states, looking over you and Elumenel cautiously, “and we thought that Lake Town needed a visit.”

Bard raises his brows at you, moving to collect the barrel.

“I do not think that Master will take kindly to unexpected visitors.”

“He will if he knows what is best for him,” is your short reply and he stops what he’s doing to look at you and then the dwarves.

“And what about them? Are they with you?”

“They are and what we are doing is none of your concern,” Caraniûl states and you elbow him for his rudeness.

You don’t know why, but every time you came down to Lake Town, Caraniûl always seemed to glare at the bargeman. You didn’t seem to understand where the hate was coming from because he was always nice to welcoming, but Caraniûl was always mean to him. It was like he knew something that you did not.

“Very well, but when the Master questions you, leave me out of it,” he says and you laugh as you all begin to climb onto the boat.

“Thank you my lady,” Thorin says as he walks past you.

“Do not call me that.” you tell him as you make your way onto the boat as well.

“Are you not the princess of the woodland realm?”

“Not anymore. I was banished by my father for being unable to kill the spiders that linger in the forest,” you tell him quietly so Bard does not overhear.

“I did not think that Thranduil was that foolish,” Thorin states, angry at the fact that the pompous elf would treat his kin that way.

“Banishment is the best that has happened to me. My father does not love me. I am nothing but a burden and the only reason he kept me along for so long was because I looked like my mother,” you say quietly, the reality of it all sinking in.

You feel a hand squeeze your arm and you smile at your brothers.

“It matters not, I have my brothers and I know that they will always love me even though my father will not,” you say and you miss the look shared between the siblings of the group.


	3. Chapter 3

“Where are your brothers?” Thranduil asks after the guards remove the dead body of the orc.

“Where do you think? They followed after y/n,” Legolas sneers.

He wanted to follow after her, he really did, but once he saw Caraniûl and Elumenel going after her, he knew he would be forgiven.

“Go to them and return them home where they belong,” Thranduil states, climbing back up to his throne.

“I will go to them, but I will not return,” Legolas says, swiftly bowing before turning to leave.

“You will-.”

“I will not!” Legolas snaps, glaring at his father, “we have stood in the shadows for far too long simply because y/n asked, but not anymore. She has done nothing but try to love you. Every she has asked me what she could do to gain your love and everyday I could not give her an answer. She tries so hard to please you and yet you brush her off as if she is a lowly elf. I tire of living in a kingdom where a king treats his daughter, his princess, like she is nothing but the dirt beneath his shoes. By pushing her away, you have also pushed us away. Family always sticks by each other’s sides. You used to know that once,” Legolas rants before promptly leaving.

Thranduil slumps in his throne. He had lost all of his children because of his stupidity. What was he going to do?

-

When you reach the toll gate you smile at Percy.

“Lady Y/n. Lords Caraniûl and Elumenel. What a pleasant surprise,” Percy says, looking at the dwarves curiously.

“Master Percy. How are the children and your wife?” You ask, smiling at the man.

You visited Lake Town often and you knew everyone in this town. You quite liked coming down here. It gave you the opportunity to get away from your father and his scrutiny and you enjoyed yourself immensely.

“They are well. You should stop by when you have a chance,” he says happily, taking Bard’s papers and stamping them.

“We will do so,” you say as he moves to hand the papers back.

“Not so fast,” you hear and you look to find the most disgusting person you’ve ever met: Alfrid.

You flinch and tuck yourself behind your brothers and they both move to stand in front of you. He gave you the chills and always made you feel uncomfortable. He looked like a slimy little git that only was interested on making his way up the ladder.

“The master would not like to hear that there are dwarves in these parts,” Alfrid snarls and you can’t help but hide behind Caraniûl, using his frame to block yours.

“And my father would not like to hear that his sons were stopped from visiting an old friend,” Elumenel states coldly.

“But the dwarves-.”

“Are coming with us and if you’ve got a problem with that, you must remember that my father has gone to war for less,” Caraniûl states and you pinch his bum at the blatant lie.

He doesn’t even flinch and you hear Alfrid sigh.

“Open the gates,” he grows out and the guards do as they’re told and Bard starts steering you through Lake Town.

“The masters got his eye on you Bard! We know where you live!” Alfrid calls out.

“It’s a small town Alfrid! Everyone knows where everyone lives,” Bard calls back and you relax stepping away from your brothers.

“Do not use our status like that again. We are no different than anyone else or did you forget what I taught you?” You ask Caraniûl, giving him a disapproving look.

“It is only this one time. Do not get your knickers in a twist,” Caraniûl says, clapping you in the back and moving to the front of the boat.

You stick your foot out and he trips, turning to glare at you and you look away pretending you didn’t do anything.

You look at the dwarves and they’re all smiling at you.

“What?” You ask, unable to stop yourself from smiling as well.

“Who knew elves could be so helpful?” The beardless one asks and you roll your eyes.

“I try very hard to break stereotypes,” you tell him.

Elumenel scoffs.

“More like every rule father makes,” He states and you smile at him.

“That too,” you say to him before turning to the dwarves, “I have yet to catch your names.”

“You are traveling with dwarves you do not know?” Bard questions.

“What’s it to you?” Caraniûl asks from his place at the bow.

“I did not let you journey across this lake with me to be disrespected,” Bard snaps back before you have a chance to say something about his rudeness.

Caraniûl just turns to watch the buildings go by.

“Forgive him. I do not know what is wrong,” you say.

“It’s quite alright,” Bard says giving you a soft smile.

“We must speak with the master of this town,” Thorin says, interrupting your conversation.

You shake your head.

“It will be unwise to speak to the master. He will not help unless given something in return,” you inform him.

“And how are we supposed to get weapons? Food? Shelter?”

Caraniûl steps closer and Elumenel turns to the dwarves.

“We May or may not have stolen your weapons back,” Elumenel states bringing out a pack that you failed to notice.

“We will see to them once we get home,” Bard inputs and Thorin nods.

The company looks at each other stunned. Never had they expected someone to willingly help them, especially three children of the elvenking and a man they just met.

“I’m Fili by the way,” the blonde dwarf says and you look at him confused.

“You asked as what our names was and mines is Fili,” Fili says again and the beardless one steps up, “and I’m Kili.”

“At your service,” they both say in unison, bowing.

You smile at them. Brothers, you guess, and the heirs to the throne by the looks of it.

By groups, the dwarves introduce themselves and when they are done you and your brothers introduce yourselves as well.

“And we are ever at your service,” you three say before bowing.

You straighten and look up as the boat comes to a stop.

You see that a crowd has gathered at the docks, all of them looking at you happily.

“Lady y/n! It is so nice to see you! You too my lords,” Greta, Percy’s wife, states, smiling widely at you three.

You know your brothers are resisting the urge to roll their eyes. The townspeople favored you more than them and it was obvious when nearly everyone forgot their names. It wasn’t an easy thing to remember if you were being honest. It took you fifty years to say their full names. You just called them Cara and Elu until you could properly remember their names. You just really wondered why your parents named their three boys Green Leaf, Red Ember, and Blue Sky. You were surprised you were not named Brown Tree or white cloud or something like that.

“It is always joyous to see you Greta. I hope the children are well,” you say as you all disembark from the boat.

“My lady I can’t help but wonder what dwarves are doing in these parts,” Greta says and you smile slightly.

“They are journeying to see their kin in the Iron Hills. We are helping them for they were attacked in our forest and we have decided to pay them back. We have had a long day and we would like to part without any fuss if that is alright,” you say, looking around at the last part.

The townsfolk disperse and go back to what they’re doing, muttering about the company with you.

“Do you always lie so easily?” Dwalin asks and you send him a smile.

“Only when it is prudent.”

When you reach Bard’s home, you smile as you see Tilda running up to her father.

“Lady y/n!” Sigird exclaims, surprised to see you.

“Its like we’re invisible or something,” Caraniul mutters as Tilda also pulls you into a hug.

“Father! Have you asked her! Is that why she’s here?” Tilda asks her father excitedly and you look at Bard only to find that he was absolutely red.

“Tilda-.”

“Ask me what?” you interrupt him, looking at his daughter.

“If he could court you of course! He talks about you a lot,” Tilda exclaims.

“It gets quite annoying,” Bain adds and you look at Bard but he’s looking away from you.

“Bard. I-.” you start, but what were supposed to say? You’ve never thought about courting anyone at all. The only thoughts that go through your mind were about your family. Never have you ever thought about the possibility.

“Leave it. Come you must all be cold,” Bard says before you have a chance to get a word out.

You look at your brothers and Elumenel looks confused while Caraniûl has a scowl on his face. So this is why Caraniûl dislikes bard. It had to be. You could not see another reason as to why.

“Well that just got awkward,” Dwalin states and you roll your eyes at him.

You turn to Caraniûl.

“You know about it didn’t you?”

“Only idiots would miss the looks he gave you every time we visited. He is not good enough for you. A man who hides from his lineage is no man,” Caraniûl states and you’ve never seen him so cold before and you shake your head.

This just got more interesting.


	4. Chapter 4

“You have yet to explain to us who you are,” Thorin says as Sigrid, Bain and Tilda help Bard with dinner.

Your eyes can’t help but follow the bowman. What were you going to do about him?

“I am not understanding you,” you say looking at him.

“Why are you doing this for us? Lying to an entire race of people, breaking your father’s rules, giving us things we need that surely would’ve robbed us of our money had we been in the hands of someone else. Why?”

You just shrug before heading over to Tilda who is currently calling for you to help her with dinner.

“My sister has a kind heart,” Caraniûl states as he watches you smile at Tilda, “especially for someone who has had her heart torn to shreds by someone she thought she could trust.”

By now the company has gathered in closer to hear what the two brothers have to say.

“Our parents loved us dearly. We were a happy family and our father was the greatest father we could have,” Elumenel adds, smiling at the fond memories of running around in the forest trying to hide from their parents.

“But?” Dwalin asks and Elumenel shakes his head.

“We lost our mother to the spiders that now infest our lands. It happened when the darkness first began back in the year 1050. We don’t know what happened exactly. Y/n and our mother went out for a walk and y/n came back carrying our mother’s lifeless body. Her death took a toll on both my father and sister. Y/n because she blamed herself and my father because she was the love of his life. They’ve been together for 6,750 years so of course he would take it hard. It took him a while to get back to his normal self. Well a shell of his normal self anyway,” Caraniûl states.

“Does he hate her because he blames her for your mother’s death?” Kili asks quietly, curious about the elf who saved his life.

“Now that I think of it, it could be a possibility but I’ve always thought that he hated her because she looks exactly like our mother in every way.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you are so kind to us,” Dwalin states.

“When my father was in his depressive state, he began to treat her rudely and she used the pain from that to make sure we would never turn out the way he was. She wanted us to be kind and caring just like our mother always taught us. She did become like our mother in a way,” Caraniûl states as someone knocks on the door.

Bard goes over to it and with a greeting, lets the person in revealing them to be Legolas.

“Never had I ever had so many guests before,” Bard states before going back to the kitchen.

“Legolas!” Elumenel exclaims, bringing his brother into a hug.

 _“I am pleased to see that you are all alright. When I did not find you back at the city I assumed the worst,”_ Legolas says as you join them as well.

 _“We decided that it was high time that we started taking y/n’s side and stop sitting back while she gets insulted,”_ Elumenel says and you reach out for his hand, giving it a squeeze before turning to legolas.

“I should have known you’d free the dwarves,” Legolas states, accidentally slipping back into Westron.

“What of it?” You ask as Bard asks , “free them?”

“Am I housing escaped prisoners?” Bard asks again and you look away from him sheepishly.

“Maybe. That’s not the point. What are you doing here? Surely father did not allow you to come down here,” you tell legolas, giving him a glare as you cross your arms.

“He told me to collect Caraniûl and Elumenel and come back. I’m doing just that but not returning,” Legolas replies, shrugging his shoulders.

You shake your head.

“Thranduil is giving you a chance to return. You should not-.”

“Oh come off it, y/n,” Elumenel snaps and you turn your attention to him, “get your head out of your ass. You are the one person that kept us together after mother’s death. We are not about to leave you on your own. We will not leave you no matter what you tell us and you need to realize that. Let us help you. You do not have to go through this alone.”

You look at your three siblings. They’ve always tried to help you but you turned them away. You wanted them to have a good life. A fun life but it seems that their life wouldn’t be as fun without you in it.

You let out a sigh.

“But what are we to do? If you decide to follow me, you can no longer go home.”

“I mean four elves traveling the world? Sounds fun to me,” Caraniûl says with a bright smile and you snort.

“Always Mr. Happy Go Lucky, huh?” You asks, watching as Thorin breaks away from Balin.

“Of course,” is he reply before Thorin steps up to you Four.

“If And when we reclaim Erebor, you Four are more than welcome to stay with us. You’ve already done so much for us. This is the least we could do,” Thorin says and you look at your siblings to see what they think.

“Can you imagine? Father would have a fit,” Elumenel states with a shrug.

“All the more reason to take it up,” Caraniûl says.

You shake your head at the two and turn back to Thorin.

“Thank you for the offer. I think we will have to accept,” you say and you can just feel Legolas roll his eyes at your formality.

“Very well. Will you be journeying to the mountain with us?”

“I don’t see why not. We’ve come this far. Come brothers, let us go to the market. It does not seem like Bard can feed 13 dwarves, Four elves, three children and one hobbit,” you say and the four of you leave.

-

“Y/n!” You hear and you turn to the source to find Caraniûl holding the tail of two fish next to his eye and shaking his head to make the fish head swing back and forth. You laugh as Elumenel hits his head with another fish.

 _“Don’t play with your food,”_  He scolds and you shake your head at their antics.

 _“I sometimes wonder if those two came out right,”_  Legolas says, coming up to you with a basket of vegetables.

 _“I told you. Naneth dropped them when they were children,”_  you tell him, picking the fruits you knew came from Mirkwood.

 _“We heard that,”_  your little brothers complain and you smile.

 _“What are you going to do about Bard?”_  Legolas asks and your smile disappears.

 _“What am I supposed to do? He is a good man, but I cannot picture him in a romantic way. I really can’t. My life has always been and will always be you three,”_  you tell him.

 _“Can you just imagine falling a dwarf?”_ Caraniûl asks, blowing on your ear to irritate you and you smack him before gathering all of your supplies.

 _“That will guarantee father’s hatred for you,”_  Elumenel states with a snort as you start your trek back to the bargeman’s home.

 _“That had been guaranteed a while back,”_  you say shaking your head.

_“But just imagine being Queen Under the Mountain. Just think about how angry he would be.”_

_“He stopped caring for me long ago. What I do with my life now is none of his concern,”_  You say, smiling at some of the Town folk.

 _“I don’t know how you do it,”_ Legolas says.

_“Do what?”_

_“Act as if you did not get hurt.”_

_“I’ve spent many tears over our father. I find no need to waste any more,”_  you tell him and your brothers exchange a look.

You started to sound like your father and they knew something had to be done about it.


	5. Chapter 5

You splutter as you break the surface of the water. Those little shits! You were going to murder them. You were absolutely going to kill them. On your way back to Bard’s, they, Caraniûl and Elumenel, decided that you needed a little swim. The nerve! Do they know that people shit in this water! Oh they were so going to get it.

You climb out and begin chasing your brothers down. Legolas just calmly follows after, picking up your basket that Elumenel had the common sense to take out of your hands before you went for a swim.

You burst through the door, startling everyone.

“Where are they?” You growl and everyone exchanges looks.

They were hiding your brothers. Those traitors.

“Why can’t good things happen to me for once in my life?” You ask loudly.

You knew your brothers well and you knew what their weakness was and you were going to play it like a fiddle.

You glare at the two of them as they come up the staircase leading down to the toilet with pouts on their faces.

“We were just trying to make you laugh-.”

“By pushing me into the feces infested water?” You screech and you wince as you hear yourself.

“You’re becoming more like ada and it’s disappointing,” Elumenel states and you flinch at his words.

Years of mental abuse caused you to hear “You’re” and not “it’s”. It shatters your heart because you’ve never heard those words uttered from your brothers because they look up to you and now you feel like you’ve let them down. Like your whole world was collapsing in around you.

A hand rests on your shoulder and you look up to find Bard holding dry clothes.

“It was my wife’s. I’m sure you’ll fit it,” he says and you nod before taking the clothes quietly and shuffling away.

“Y/n-,” Elumenel states trying to follow you but you slam the door in his face.

You couldn’t talk to him right now. You didn’t want him to see your state.

-

Legolas glares at his little brother as he hears the door slam shut.

“You two should’ve went about it a different way,” he growls, placing the newly bought groceries onto the table.

“We were just trying to get her to lighten up! We’ve all noticed that she’s starting to become like father and we can’t have that,” Caraniûl states and Legolas shoves a bunch of vegetables to his chest for cutting.

Being the chef in the company, Bombur decides to join them. What they were making, no one knows. All they know is that it involved fish.

“Pushing her into the water was not the best idea for that. You could’ve done anything and you decide to dump her in freezing cold water which, by the way, could have killed her if she were not an elf,” Legolas states before he and Bard start scaling the fish.

“We didn’t think she’d get so offended,” Elumenel says, joining them in the kitchen.

“I don’t think she got offended by the water,” a little voice states and they all stop what they’re doing to look at Bilbo who hides behind Thorin a bit at the sudden attention.

“I think judging by what you were telling us earlier, that she probably heard you say you were disappointed in her. Your father probably says he’s disappointed in her a lot, from what I’ve gathered and she’s numb to that, but her brain probably automatically switches anything near the word disappointing to ‘I’m’. She probably thought that you said “I’m disappointed” which would hurt coming from someone she cares so much about which is probably why she slammed the door in your face,” Bilbo explains and with one look, the brothers know that he is right. Now they just needed to fix this. Well, Elumenel needed to fix this.

-

You sigh as the door closes behind you. You knew you had to gather your thoughts and think things through. You absolutely knew in your heart that your brother would never be disappointed in you. Them following you to Laketown had been proof of that. You just needed to get your brain to see that.

You take a deep breath and decide to change your clothes.

When you’re done, you look at yourself  in the mirror and spin a bit. It was different. The fabric wasn’t as soft as elven fabric and not as tight as your normal clothes either especially in your chest area. It made movement easier and you liked it quite a bit.

You exit the bedroom and make your way into the living room. Once you enter, it goes absolutely silent. You ignore their stares and questioning gazes and go to join Tilda, who was currently sitting next to the dwarf with an ax in his head.

You hear Bifur say something in Khuzdul and Tilda looks to you for help causing you to laugh.

“It is not my area of expertise. I maybe be thousands of years old, but Khuzdul is a language that is sacred to dwarves therefore no one outside of their race knows their language. Although, I am pretty sure he’s just trying to show you how to work the toy that he created,” you explain to her, looking to Bifur for confirmation and he nods excitedly.

You smile at him as Tilda plays closer attention to the dragon that he had in his hands.

“You seem to know a lot about different cultures,” Thorin says and you turn to look at him, giving him a small smile.

“Our tutor only taught us about elven culture and very few parts of human culture and I thought it was appalling so I decided to learn it myself. My brothers call me a bookworm for it,” you tell him.

“That’s because you are. I mean who in the world would remember that Walda, the 12th king of Rohan died in Dunharrow?” Elumenel asks, looking at you.

“You apparently,” you tell him, challenging him with a raised brow and you laugh as Caranuil hits him in the back of his head with an uncut fish. Definitely payback for earlier.

You turn your attention back to Thorin as the fighting escalates.

“They’re actually twelve,” you tell them and he slowly turns to look at his nephews.

“I know a bit about 12 year olds,” is his reply, earning an exclamation of “hey!” from both of his nephews.

“My brothers and your nephews are quite similar,” you tell him.

“Indeed. They are all idiots after all,” Thorin says and Elumenel and Caranuil give him a glare while Fili and Kili look about ready to flip him off.

“But we still love them,” you say and that causes your two brothers to relax.

Thorin turns to you with a smile on his face and you have to admit that you quite liked it.

“That we do.”


	6. Chapter 6

Dinner had been an interesting affair to say the least. The dwarves had decided to open up a bit and they were definitely a rowdy bunch. For some reason, you felt that they were holding back on something, but you didn’t know what.

However, after a very quiet conversation with Bilbo, you found out that they practically trashed Bilbo’s place and then cleaned it up afterwards. You were glad they didn’t do that this time around. It would’ve brought shame upon you because technically the dwarves were your guests and you are Bard’s guest. A whole lot of shame would’ve been brought upon you.

“Bard,” you call out after dinner.

The dwarves are helping the children and your brothers clean up so you were certain that the bargeman had free time. You needed to speak with him about a few things.

He stops his cleaning and follows you outside so you both have a bit more privacy.

“You realize, don’t you, that as soon as we’re gone, the master will rain down hell on all of you,” you tell him and he lets out a sigh, leaning against the railing.

“I know but what am I supposed to do? Where are we supposed to go? I heard your brothers earlier and I do not think a banished princess will do my family any good,” he says and you wince as you realize he knew your lie,  “the only thing that is left for us is to stay here.”

You shake your head, looking at him. You couldn’t let them stay here. You absolutely knew that once you were gone, Bard was going to be thrown into prison for no reason.

The Master had it out for him. That was something you and your brothers knew. He was afraid that Bard would overthrow him and claim the position for himself which made sense. Bard is a decedent of Girion. He is the rightful heir to the throne. If he wanted to, he could become the King of these people for they were also descendants of the people of Dale, but he denied it.

He denied any claim to throne and went on to live a normal life. He didn’t tell his children about what his ancestor failed to do because he did not want them to feel the shame that he and his predecessors felt. He wanted them to live normal lives. At least, that’s what he told you and apparently that’s what pissed Caraniûl off the most. You did not know the whole story but you were going to get it eventually, but now you had to convince Bard to leave.

“Staying here is not the only solution. Did you think that we stayed with the master when we’re in town?”

Bard pulls back to get a clear look at you, trying to understand where this is going.

“My brothers and I own a home on the outskirts of town. I think it is good enough for your family. The master does not know of that place, of that I am sure. Durin’s day is not for another week and-.”

“Durin’s day? What is so important about Durin’s day?” he asks, confusion ghosting over his face. He really didn’t understand what Durin’s day was and what that had to do with anything you were talking about.

You realize that he did not know of the quest. If he did, he would surely try to stop it. Anyone would stop the dwarves from waking a dragon. Anyone except for you and your brothers of course.

“That is when the dwarves and my brothers plan to leave. Well, two days before that. It is a holiday celebrated by the dwarves. It marks a new year for them. Quite the festival if I’m not mistaken. We should be able to make it to the Iron Hills by Durin’s day ,” you say, lying through your teeth.

Bard narrows his eyes at you. He’s known you long enough to know when you were lying. However, you were thousands of years old so who knows? Maybe you were telling the truth, maybe you weren’t. However, he somehow knew that latter was truer than the former.

“I do not appreciate lies, y/n. I have done nothing, but aid you, who’s been disowned by your father, and these dwarves, who have escaped your father’s prison cells, and yet you stand here and lie straight to my face,” Bard tells you, clearly upset.

It made you feel bad because he was right. He has done nothing but help you and yet you continuously lie to his face.

“We’re going to the mountain,” you blurt out, looking away from him, “ they have found a way inside and nothing will stop them from reclaiming their home.

“They will rain dragon fire upon us when they reclaim that mountain. The dragon will kill us all,” Bard exclaims, gently grabbing your arms and turning you to face him, “I have children y/n. You can’t let them do this. If you love my children as much as I do, you will stop them.”

That was unfair of him. You both knew that. His children were like yours and for him to use them against you was wrong.

“You and I both know that that was very unfair, Bard. You know I love them just as much as you do-.”

“And yet you are willing to put them in danger for 13 dwarves you just met!” Bard snaps, giving you a small shake before pulling back and stepping away from you.

“You helped my wife give birth to Sigrid. Surely her life means something to you even though mines does not,” Bard says, looking out and leaning against the railing.

You place your hand on his cheek, turning him towards you.

“Do not speak like that. I care for all of you. You all matter to me, but this is something that needs to be done and I will see it through. You and your children need to leave. Promise me Bard,” you say, eyes searching his.

All you find is sorrow and it hurts you. This man has already lost so much and to tell him to leave his entire life behind or watch his children die hurt your heart.

“And where are we to go? This is all we have,” he tells you, resting his hand on yours.

You can just feel his pain and sorrow.

“Y/n.”

You turn to find Caraniûl standing at the door.

“The dwarves want to have a word,” he says and you nod, backing away from Bard to follow your brother back into the bargeman’s home.

Bard watches you go before leaving. He knows his children are in good hands and he needed to think things through.


	7. Chapter 7

As you enter the home, you turn around expecting Bard to be behind you and you frown as you realize he’s not there. You shake your head, understanding that he needed time to think about things.

“Where is the bargeman?” Thorin asks as you all gather around the table.

“Probably ran away because y/n turned him down again,” Caraniûl scoffs and you shake your head as you come to stand between him and Elumenel.

“I did no such thing,” you defend.

“So you accepted and return his feelings?” Elumenel asks.

“If you nosy, annoying little shits will just let me finish, I’ll tell you what happened between Bard and I,” you growl out.

“Oh? So something happened?” Legolas asks and the dwarves snort.

“Do you see what I have to deal with?” You ask Thorin, gesturing to your brothers and Thorin gives you a small smile which you return.

“Let me go make sure the little ones are sleeping and we shall discuss whatever needs to be discussed,” you say before turning and making your way to the children’s sleeping area.

Bard was the only one with a bedroom, that much you understood. The children’s sleeping area is also considered to be the living room so that meant whatever conversation was about to happen needed to be done quietly.

“Where’s da lady y/n?” Tilda asks as she and Sigrid make themselves comfortable in their bed.

“He went on a little walk,” you say, taking a seat next to her, “he will be here when you wake. Of that I am certain.”

“Are you not going to come around any more?” Tilda asks with a frown on her face causing your brows to furrow.

“What do you mean child?”

“Obviously you don’t return Da’s feelings and now it’s weird between you two,” Tilda states and you exchange a look with Sigrid.

Tilda was smarter than she looked.

“Of course I’ll still be coming around. I’ve been around since Sigrid was born and I’m not going to stop now,” you tell her, brushing her hair out of her face.

She gives you a wide smile.

“That’s great news. I would miss you if you were gone,” she says before slowly closing her eyes.

You smile at the child before turning to look at the older ones.

“Sleep. You are well protected,” you say before standing and turning to look at Bain with a raised brow, “and don’t listen in to things that should not be listened in on.”

He gives you a sheepish look before turning in. You smile and make your way back into the kitchen. Everyone has taken a seat and the only available one was next to Thorin so you decide to sit there.

“Where has Bard gone?” Thorin asks.

“He needed to think about things. He knows that we’re going to the mountain and I have tried to convince him to leave before we have the chance to wake the dragon, but he has nowhere to go. He knows of my banishment and knows that I am no longer able to help him like I could if I were not banished,” you explain to them.

“What does that mean?” Fili asks.

“It means that Bard has decided to stay and the walk He is on now will determine whether or not he will try to stop us or if he will let us go,” Caraniûl explains and you nod in agreement.

“You looked troubled,” Thorin voices and you turn to look at him before turning away again to stare at the table.

“He has a family. Three children! One who’s 16, one who’s 13 and one who’s 11 and this is just one family. There are a thousand other’s out there and we are about to rain dragon fire upon them!” You exclaim.

Thorin’s rests his hand on your And gives it a squeeze, causing you to look at him.

“If this is where you leave us, there will be no dishonor. We’ve already received more than enough from you and your brothers,” Thorin tells you gently.

That just makes you want to continue on this journey. For him.

“We will see it through. I promise,” you tell him and he sends you a smile before Elumenel places a bag onto the table.

“We will retrieve food from the market when it opens and we will journey to the mountain before then,” he says as he opens the bag to reveal the weapons. The company collects them as Thorin shakes his head.

“We need to reach the mountain before sunset. The map said “Stand by the gray stone when the thrush knocks and the last light of Durins day will shine upon the keyhole”. We must leave at dawn,” Thorin says and you watch as Legolas frowns. It seems you weren’t the only one to catch Thorin’s misinterpretation.

“The last light of Durin’s day does not refer to the ‘day’ part of tomorrow. It refers to the entire day as a whole. From 12am to 11:59pm,” Legolas says and it seems that the dwarves doesn’t get what he’s suggesting.

“What He is saying is that it is nightfall that we must wait for. The moon is the last light of the day as a whole. If I remember correctly, it takes 30 minutes to get across the lake and three hours to get to the front gates. We will be able to leave by 2 pm the latest. We should get there with enough time to look for the gate,” you explain and Thorin looks at you skeptically before nodding.

“We will do it your way. I am hoping that you are right,” he says and you don’t have it in your heart to tell him that you were hoping you were right too.

-

The next morning, the lot of you get ready to leave. You heard Bard come back late into the night and you didn’t question him on his decision. You knew he need to be left alone so you gave that to him.

The dwarves slowly make their way out of the home with you watching them. Your brothers already left to go procure a boat. Bard had his boat but you already asked enough of him.

As Thorin makes his way out, you turn to Bard. The barge man, however, could not look at you and it hurt you more than you would like to admit. You turn to his children, trying to hide the pain you felt.

“Take care of each other alright. I will be back soon,” you tell them even though you knew it was a lie. If you survived, you didn’t know if they would. This could go either way. “Take care of your father,” you whisper to them, looking at Bard from the corner of your eyes before turning to leave.

“Da! Go after her!” You hear Tilda exclaim as you start walking down the stairs. “No. She made her decision and I will not forgive her for it,” is Bard’s reply and you try to keep it together as you leave them behind, hoping and praying that they make it out of this.


	8. Chapter 8

“You looked troubled,” you hear and you turn to find Elumenel.

They had somehow procured a boat from the master strangely enough. You supposed the master did not want to get into trouble with elves. Thinking of the boat, however, made you think of Bard and his family. The master will surely be after them now that you were gone and you can’t help but think this was all your fault. If you hadn’t freed the dwarves, none of this would’ve ever happened.

“It’s nothing to worry your mind over.”

“Every single time that you’ve ever said that, it was always something for us to worry about,” Elumenel scoffs and you smile at him.

“I’m just thinking of Bard and his children. Of what will happen to them. If we made the right choice. If I made the right choice,” you tell him, going back to stare at the water.

“We’ve never regretted following you. We have faith in you and what you believe in and I believe you made the right choice-.”

“But if we wake the dragon, thousands of men, women, and children could be killed for a mere 13 dwarves. Is it really the right choice?” You ask, turning to him.

“Men are plentiful. Dwarves are not,” he shrugs and you snort. “You’re disgusting you know that?” You ask and he smiles at you. “It made you laugh so,” he says, ending with a shrug. “Laughing and snorting are two different things,” you tell him and he laughs before you both turn to look at the company.

They seemed to be on better spirits. All except Thorin who was currently staring at the mountain as if it’ll run away. Caraniûl and Legolas were currently talking to Fili and Kili and you had a feeling that if you all made it out, those four would be like hellfire together.

“The king does not seem to be all there,” Elumenel voices. “If you haven’t seen your home in over a 100 years, how would you feel?” You ask.

He shakes his head.

“I would be excited but this. This doesn’t feel right,” he says and you watch Thorin too.

You couldn’t really tell if something was wrong with him. To you he felt the same but Elumenel was always better at reading people.

“We will be fine.”

-

You were not fine. At all. War had broken out and it was not looking good. How it escalated so quickly was beyond you. It perhaps started with Laketown asking for what they were owed and probably escalated when your father demanded his sons and jewels back. Of course, you were not in the picture but it matters not. Elves, men, and dwarves were outnumbered by orcs and you did not see anyone surviving. At least Thorin and the rest of the company joined in on the fight

“Y/n!” You hear and you kill the orc before turning to the source.

“Thorin! It is so good to see you back to your normal self,” you say, giving him a squeeze on his arm before turning back to fight the orcs.

Last you saw him, he had a knife to your throat for aiding Bilbo with stealing the Arkenstone. Your brothers were wise enough to not return but you needed to make sure Bilbo was safe.

“I am sorry for the way I treated you,” Thorin says. “It’s quite alright. You are forgiven,” you tell him, killing another orc and turning to him, “Thorin. We cannot win. You and I both know this.”

He looks at you before turning to Ravenhill.

“Then we kill their leader. There is no army with no leader,” he says before grabbing a nearby battle ram.

You blink as you see Balin stop in front of you with what looks like a chariot. Fili, Kili, and Dwalin were there too along with your brothers who all looked ridiculously big on it.

“I highly doubt these were made for elves,” you snort.

“And I highly doubt I won’t kick your ass if you don’t hurry up,” Dwalin growls as Legolas holds out his hand and you smile before taking it.

Helping keep the orcs at bay was easy on a chariot due to your ability to aim perfectly, however, it was harder when you were on your own two feet.

A few rams were killed which is why Fili, Kili, and Dwalin decided to take the remainder of them: there was no one they could get up the hill fast enough. That is how you, Legolas and Caraniûl end up scaling the mountain; Elumenel made the choice to stay with Balin, which you and Dwalin were happy about. They at least had each other.

When you finally reach Raven Hill, you look around. Azog was gone and that could not be a good sign.

“Fili. Kili. Check out those towers,” Thorin orders and you turn to Caraniûl motioning for him to follow them and he nods, doing as he’s told.

You watch them for a second; something wasn’t right. You don’t have much time to think about it as you are attacked by both goblins and orcs.

It seems like you’ve been fighting forever before something on top of the tower catches your eye.

Azog is standing there with his hand gripping your little brother’s hair.


	9. Chapter 9

“Caraniûl,” you whisper, your heart beating louder and louder as you watch your brother tries to escape from Azog but his grip was firm.

“An elf prince,” Azog spits out in Black Speech which, sadly, you and your brother can understand, “is just as good as a- .”

Whatever words he was about to say comes to a halt as an arrow pierced his shoulder causing him to drop Caraniûl. You turn to find the source of the arrow only to find Legolas glaring at you, pulling another arrow out.

“Hesitation almost cost him his life. Do not let it happen again,” he growls before joining the fight again and you knew deep down that he was right.

If you stood there a little longer, he would’ve been dead and you surely would not have forgiven yourself.

You make your way into the towers to find Fili and Kili making their way towards you with Caraniûl behind them. He survived the fall and you were ecstatic. However, you were also ashamed that you did not react quick enough.

“Are you alright?” Caraniûl asks, moving to place a hand on your arm but you pull back quickly as if he had burned you causing him to frown.

You ignore him and continue fighting the orcs that we’re coming out of the tower before slowly making your way back to the rest of your small gang of fighters who are now joined by Bilbo.

Azog makes his way onto the ice but you know that he has his eyes set one thing: Thorin. Thorin accepts that challenge and steps up to Azog, killing the orcs coming his way with one swipe of his blade. You keep an eye on him as you fight off your own orcs. He was doing great up until he got stabbed in the foot. This time you do not hesitate and you loosen an arrow into his arm causing a distraction and giving Thorin the incentive to finish what should’ve been finished a long time ago.

With Azog dead, the orcs start retreating and you collapse on your knees as the exhaustion starts creeping in. Caraniûl takes a seat next to you and you look him over carefully before turning away. You could not look at him. Not while you almost cost him his life.

“Y/n. What is wrong?” He asks but before he has a chance to reach out for you, you stand, going to check over the dwarves.

“Alright?” Thorin asks and all you reply with is a shrug before you look his nephews and Dwalin over.

You’ve lost sight of the hobbit but you relax as you see him making his way over to you with a blood trail going down the side of his face; he is going to live. Once you realize they are all safe, you make your way down the hill and to Dale; there was a family you needed to check on.

-

You quickly scan over the bodies on the ground, hoping and praying that you do not find Bard or his children.

You had encountered Elumenel on the way down from the hill. He and Balin were making their way up and they looked to be okay. No words were exchanged and they seemed to understand.

When you get to the courtyard, you do find them but they were alive and well and talking to Thranduil causing you to frown.

Tilda is the first to notice you and she immediately unlatches herself from her fathers hand to run up to you and you immediately capture her in your arms, hugging her tightly as she wraps her arms around your neck. Sigrid and Bain join in as well and you can’t help but let the tears fall.

These children should not have experienced a war. Not this early in life. They were barely teens and yet they’ve experienced so much and you wanted to take that from them.

You put Tilda down as Bard and Thranduil make their way over to you.

“Your brothers?” Thranduil asks and your heart clenches as skips asking about your own health.

“The three of them are alive and well King Thranduil,” you state.

“And yourself?”

That catches you off guard and you stare at him confused. He actually asked about your well being? That’s surprising.

“I’ll live,” you tell him, vaguely noticing that Bard was leading his children away from the two of you.

“I’m glad,” Thranduil states, “that you are alive. That you are all alive.”

You look away from him.

“I am not,” you admit, “I hesitated ada. Caraniûl was being held captive and I hesitated and it almost cost him his life. They followed me and I almost lead them to their death. Perhaps you were right. It seems I can’t do anything right.”

Before he even has a chance to respond, you walk away from him needing to get away.

What a horrible day it was.


	10. Chapter 10

After gathering all the dead bodies and after the sun has set, everyone makes their way into Erebor. With the forges properly lit added with a few more torches here and there, it was better for everyone to stay inside Erebor rather than Dale.

You shuffle around a bit, helping the wounded and avoiding your brothers. You didn’t deserve their love.

A hand grips your arm and you have half a mind to break it but you relax as you see that it’s Thorin.

“You’re hiding from us,” he states and you break out of his grip, continuing to move around to help the others. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you deny and he scoffs. “Don’t lie to me,” he says and you sigh, looking at him before watching everyone else bustle around.

“I almost let him die Thorin. My little brother. He almost died because of me.”

“But he didn’t. He is alive and well and is currently wondering why his sister and idol is avoiding him,” Thorin states, resting his hand on your arm, “go to him.”

You look at him before nodding and the two of you walk back to the gallery of the kings where everyone was currently settled down.

You enter the hall and you immediately spot your brothers walking around and providing people with bowls of food. You stop a bit, contemplating whether or not you should talk to them but Thorin gives you a not to gentle shove. You turn to glare at him but he’s already walking away to join some of the other dwarves.

You walk up to your brothers and if sensing you, they all turn around and for once, in your life, you can’t seem to look them in the eyes.

A hand rests on your arm and you look up at Caraniûl, eyes tearing up at kindness he was showing you. You did not deserve this.

“Your first mistake was listening to Legolas,” Caraniûl states, hitting said brother in the stomach earning a growl, “your second mistake was not coming to me first and ignoring me instead of this asshole.”

“I almost-.”

“You did nothing wrong. I was the idiot. I was the one that wanted to continue on into the tower even though I knew that Azog had to be hiding in there somewhere. If someone did anything wrong it was me,” he explains and immediately after, you pull your brother into a hug, crying into his shoulder as your hand tightens around his tunic.

You feel your other brothers join you.

A few minutes later, you hear a throat being cleared and you all turn to find Thranduil watching you.

You pull away from your brothers, allowing them to go see him. No matter what was exchanged between you and Thranduil, you still felt that it was not your place.

Feeling a hand close around yours, you make eye contact with the dwarf king and slowly, he leads you to the rest of the company.

Sitting between Dwalin and Thorin, you let out a sigh. You were going to be okay. You all were going to be okay.

“The offer still stands if you find it in your heart to forgive me,” Thorin states and you smile at him. “I think I would like to take up your offer.”

“And your brothers?”

You turn to find that your brothers and father making their way away from everyone. It didn’t seem like they were going to staying and although it hurt, you couldn’t help but feel happy for them. They were going to be happier with your father. You just knew it.

“I do not think they will be joining me,” you tell Thorin and he squeezes your knee making you smile.

Everything will be alright in the end.


	11. Chapter 11

Reparations had begun. The wounded had been moved to the healer’s wing and those willing and able had begun to fix what was wrong. The first thing on that list had been the door. It was a necessity; no one wanted to be cold the entire time. You were in awe as you watched the dwarves build a working door for people to come and go through. They knew their stuff.

“Y/n!”

You stop sweeping to turn to the source of the voice. Legolas is stood there with your brothers and you give them a smile which they easily return before making their way over to you.

“I thought you had returned to Mirkwood with Ada,” you admit, over the moon at the fact that your brothers were still here.

“Of course not. We chose to stay by your side no matter what. We just had to speak to him for a bit. He should be speaking to you soon,” Elumenel states and you nod.

“Well, in the meantime, get to work you lazy bums,” you reply and they shake their heads before helping you finish sweep up the mess.

You watch them a bit with a smile on your face before continuing to help them as well.

“Y/n,” you hear as you finish and you smile as you see Thorin watching you. “My king,” you say, giving him a sarcastic curtsy and he rolls his eyes. “Cheeky aren’t you?” He asks and you shrug giving him a small wink.

“She’s only like that with people she likes, trust me,” Caranuil states and you scowl at him. “Well, I would hope she would like me if not we are most definitely in an awkward situation,” Thorin jokes and you shake your head. “Is there something you needed?” You ask.

“Yes. Bard has sent word that your father has requested your presence in Dale. I think the king would rather not come here given recent events,” Thorin states and you frown before looking towards the direction of the door, “but, of course, it is entirely up to you.”

You turn to your brothers for aid but they just exchange looks with each other.

“I think it’ll be good for you to go. To get the closure you need,” Legolas says and you look at him before nodding. You were ready to get this over with.

-

You walk into the main square and you see a few elves bustling about. When they see you, they stop and bow before continuing on with their work. Did your father not tell them that you were banished?

You shake your head at the thought before you find your father talking to Bard.

You clear your throat and they both turn to you. Bard gives you a small smile and you return it before he takes his leave.

“You wanted to see me Ada?” You ask and you see Thranduil cringe before looking away. “I do not deserve to be called that,” he states, “I have treated you too horribly to even be considered your father. How you have put up with me is something I wonder about everyday.”

You frown a bit before voicing what is truly on your mind.

“It is because I love you,” You states and he turns his attention towards you again, “no matter what way you treat me, I still love you and I will always love you.”

You look away and out into the courtyard.

“Why do you hate me? Is it truly because I remind you of mother or is it because I killed her?”

“I don’t-.”

“Please don’t play coy. I know you blamed me for mother’s death. I blamed myself too. It took me hundreds of years and my brothers to stop me from blaming myself and I pushed the reason for you not liking me onto the idea that I reminded you of her. You were not the only one that felt that pain. I felt it too. I was there when she died. I carried her lifeless body home. I was broken ada and instead of helping me put the pieces back together, you tore me apart. Had it not been for Legolas, Caranuil, and Elumenel, I would’ve joined her in the afterlife, but because of them I live. I live for them,” you tell him as tears stream down your face.

You wipe them away before quickly excusing yourself. You could not handle this right now.

You begin to walk away when a hand grabs yours. You turn to your father wanting nothing but to get away and find your brothers.

“Please. Do not walk away from me again. I want to try and fix our relationship. I know that I have hurt you and I am sorry for doing so. I am an idiot and I am asking you to eventually forgive me. I say eventually because I know nearly 2,000 years of pain will not be easy to overcome. I just want us to start now,” Thranduil tells you and you look at him before pulling him into a hug.

It had been so long since he held you in his arms and you missed it immensely. All you’ve ever wanted was the Love of a Father.


End file.
